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Wednesday, 04 February 2009

For kicks and giggles: 25 random things about me

I saw someone else post theirs here and I figured, what the heck. So if you're bored, here's something to read I suppose.
1. Church ministry is my passion. It took me years to figure this out and a lot of frustration along the way, but at least I finally made it... I'm also passionate about my church. Salem Alliance is like my home away from home.

2. I have no idea why I got a Poli Sci degree, and even less idea what I am going to do with it. Although at least now I can carry on an intelligent political conversation with someone, even though they usually just want to argue with me.

3. I love photography. Iit only took me 22 years to figure that out. Every once in a while my creative side breaks free; those moments are seriously amazing.

4. I love to dance, but I'm embarrassed to dance alone.

5. I have a sickness for reading and checking out library books. Slightly akin to having eyes bigger than your stomach. Two jobs + 4 books / 3 weeks = late night reading sessions to avoid overdue charges.

6. People at my job think I look like I'm in Jr High.... seriously. The Fed Ex guy didn't want to let me sign his electronic signature thing today. He didn't believe I was over 21...

7. I could probably live on tuna, pizza, and broccoli for the rest of my life. Although not necessarily together.

8. I have my own font, in my own handwriting. "Megeletto" If you want it you can have it too, just ask me for it.

9. I can't resist shows like The Bachelor & The Hills, even though I'm sure they're mostly scripted.

10. I wish that my wit was faster.

11. I won a calculator on a local TV math show when I was in high school, but they never sent it to me :(

12. I was a cheerleader in high school & in college (for a bit).

13. Managing money scares me. Just the whole concept of it makes me want to hide under a rock.

14. My biggest pet peeve is when people "forget" to use their turn signal before changing lanes or turning. Seriously irritating.

15. I don't drink coffee OR tea, and I don't care for alcohol.

16. I've never had a bloody nose or a broken bone.

17. I love doing things like going shopping or to a movie completely by myself. It's not that weird, I promise.

18. I got carded for ordering an alcoholic drink when I was over 21.... in Mexico (yep, they'll let 7 a year old buy liquor, but they're cautious with me)

19. I like grammar. A lot. I secretly loved to proof other peoples papers when I was in college (and some of my co-workers still let me).

20. I absolutely LOVE Salem/Keizer despite the obvious lack of things to do here. If I had my choice I would live here forever.

21. I've visited/been in over 30 states and 5 countries. Yet I don't like to travel..... go figure.

22. With a friends help, I made up a fake boyfriend in Jr High to make a boy jealous. Guess my inability to lie with a straight face runs pretty deep because he never bought it.

23. I'm like a faucet when it comes to tears. Movies, TV shows, sappy interviews, and even commercials can make me cry.

24. When my brother was really young and he didn't know what a word meant he used to ask me. If I didn't know, I made something up.

25. U of O was the first "public" school that I ever attended. From preschool through freshman year of college I attended private Christian schools.

Tuesday, 03 February 2009

Money: the fear

Managing money makes me shudder. Not that I am incapable, but that I am uninformed.

My dad was the manager of a small finance company as I grew up. My mom grew up poor. My dad did well for himself, they paid off the mortgage years in advance, they always paid cash for the cars they bought, and never paid a cent on interest on their credit cards. Perhaps that is why these concepts seem like no-brainers to me.

Unfortunately, they never stopped to share their secrets with me, to share the process of earning and spending, bills and debt, and saving or investing. They kept quiet and lived a lower-middle-class life. I falsely believed that my family had just enough to get by, that we weren't poor but weren't upper class either.

My mom made up excuses for not getting things like cell phones or wireless internet, that we didn't have the money to buy them. It wasn't until I was almost out of high school when they told me that they were going to pay for my college education. They hid their finances well. When I had to fill out forms that asked our family income my parents refused to answer. How was I supposed to know any different?

I am immensely blessed that my parents paid for college and saved me from debt, but it doesn't alleviate the stress I feel now that I have graduated and am expected to completely finance myself for once. It's a little akin to watching someone swim underwater and then being pushed in to figure it out on your own.

While I did pick up a few financial gems from my parents, I wish they had been more open with me while I was growing up. I wish they would have showed me how to balance my check book before I had to ask for their help. I wish they would have explained investments and the different places I could go for those. I wish they would have shown me their bills, even just one months worth so that I could get a realistic idea of what things cost. I wish they would have at least told me a ballpark range of what they made.... I graduated college without the slightest idea of what a normal salary range looked like.

I love them dearly, but I feel a little let down. They don't agree with me, they don't see any fault in keeping their money dealings private. They obviously knew what they were doing, I just wish they would have shared more of their esoteric insight with me before now.

Perhaps then finances wouldn't make me squirm. I've always been a frugal spender, sometimes to an extreme fault, and I probably always will be. At least that I got from them.

Friday, 30 January 2009

Facebook, take 2

I caved to my own personal nagging for the reinstatement of my facebook after a year and a half hiatus.

Yep, for a year and a half I lived happily without a facebook, in college no less, but now, over six months since I graduated, I felt compelled to rejoin the electronic friendship world that nearly did me in before. Addictions just aren't pretty, and I promised myself that I would stay away far far away from them.

Guess I need to work on my will power a little more.

I couldn't wait to dive back into it at first. Unfortunately my hibernation period has given me somewhat of a learning curve (I had to do a google search just to figure out how to change my network to alumi). This of course doesn't even delve into the feeling in the pit in my stomach that facebook has worsened, not alleviated.

As if I wasn't self conscious enough about being single, facebook had to promptly remind me just how many people I know who somehow magically met and got engaged while I lived in a facebook-less naivete. I was happy in that world, blissfully unaware and without desire to care. Now I remember why I deleted the thing in the first place. I mean, I knew I was single, I just enjoyed not being reminded five times a day...

Alas, here I am. Strangely drawn to an online network that leaves me unsettled, but unable to keep myself from checking my profile for changes every time I use the internet.

Honestly, it must be a sickness. There is no other explanation.

Oh-well, guess I'm just a lemming this time, er, second time around.

Friday, 16 January 2009

I wish I were a dog...

My parents got a dog once both my brother and I left the "nest." Apparently they got loney and decided to replace us (as soon as they did the "you can come home whenever you want" became lesser and lesser). I love the dog to death now, but when he was a puppy I just wanted to step on him at times. Slowly my heart warmed to him and now I don't know what I would do without him..
He loves me unconditionally, I've never been sure exactly why. Even after being gone all day and being forced to sit around in the dark and wait for the "big dogs" to come home he's estatic to see me. He whines and spins and hops around. He's just so excited that I'm home; he has been waiting all day for me. I'm not always the life of the party after working either, but he's just at content to lay in my lap and sleep, as long as I'm there with him.
This thought just struck me. God is a lot like my dog (this sounds weird, but go with me anyways). He loves me unconditionally and literally "waits" for me to come back to him each day. He forgives me when I hurt him (just like when I step on Max's feet and he forgives me almost instantaneously). And He doesn't care what we do as long as we do it together.
Sometimes I wish I could be a little more like my dog. Always happy to meet new people and greet old ones, willing to trust others more freely, excited about life in general, completely forgiving, and able to love people completely without fear of getting hurt and holding back. I guess since I can't be my dog I should just learn these lessons from him instead.
Of course I do appreciate human food choices because kibble everyday wouldn't quite cut it, and sleeping in a crate and being tied to a leash would be claustraphbic at least.

Sunday, 11 January 2009

Passion

Passion:

-a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything: a passion for music.

-
the object of such a fondness or desire: Accuracy became a passion with him.

-an outburst of strong emotion or feeling: He suddenly broke into a passion of bitter words.

I lived so many years of my life without this. I wasn't really living, I was only existing. I knew I didn't fit in, so I didn't try. I pushed myself away, and sadly enough I suffered even more because of that. I didn't understand; I didn't know what I was missing.

I saw unexplainable happiness in some people, those who fit in and became part of the "group." I yearned to be like them but the door seemed shut to me; I didn't understand why.

Four years of college, wasted. Sure, I learned a lot academically but I never invested in people. I lived in a community yet refused to participate. I lived passion-less for its entirety.

I moved home after graduation, determined to figure out what I was supposed to do with this "life," and I found my passion by accident.

I finally feel alive, almost like I was in hibernation before and spring is finally here. I'm serving God, I'm building community, and I'm loving every minute of it. God has more for me to do, I'm just waiting for Him to continue molding me into who I need to be to serve Him best. It has been an interesting journey and it's not over yet. I can't imagine being anywhere else.